blog (January, 2003)
hollow weaning
Rolled to work at 11 this morning, and left the building around 9:30pm. I slid my schedule forward today so I could tear out cables and redesign some of the network tonight when no one would be around needing a connection. I've spent probably half of these first couple days at work in that server closet, organizing and configuring. I'm anxious to straighten out as much as I can of my domain here -- streamline as much of the monkeystuff as possible so I can pursue more interesting aspects of the job.
I'm confronting initial troubles in shifting from unemployment to full-time. The past months' leisure time wasn't enough for me to do all I wanted; now I'm not even close to that. I've got to get over this first hump of weariness. I come home and am too drained -- especially if after going for a run -- to try and tackle any of the social/geeky/housewarming/&more goals I have.
A few tricks & treats are up my sleeves; I've just got to get the shirt out of the closet.
back from politikin'
My weekend trip to D.C. was great. Josh made up for his CD collection with solid driving, so the ride wasn't bad. Pennsylvania is always a chore to plow through, though. Autumn turns the area's typically bland hill:tree landscapes into more pleasing flames licking the sides of the car; this provided eye-candy and something to talk about.
Oldbuddy James was our embassador; spent most of the time at his place in College Park, MD, with him, his girl and justbackfromKuwait friend, and took a couple trips into downtown DC for sightseeing and chilling. Silver & gold friends. House party, and good-old-fashioned fun.
Back home, I'm still in consumption mode. meh.
Trying to find ways of melding together my real life and geek life. That means meeting geeks in the physical world, (Meetup?) and getting my real-life friends more involved in more of the net's social-linkage (Friendster?)
Working...
Friend of a Friend
A brave, almost presumptuous world stood before me. I kicked it square and sent it flying, face-first in the dust.
This weekend was a blast. Friday night in Buffalo with my cousin, Mark, and Saturday the Alexander Street Fest back here in Rochester. Old friends were by my sideways and new encounters set me spinning. Good to climb out of some of the stagnant water I've been wading in for the last few weeks. Opposite of way-nonplussed.
Before the eatdrinkdance festivities began, I sent my computer ninjas to work Thursday night on catching me up in social software trendiness. I've avoided the whole Friendster bit, (and am determined to continue so,) but the Friend of a Friend (FOAF) project interests me and merits mention. From their page:
The Friend of a Friend (FOAF) project is about creating a Web of machine-readable homepages describing people, the links between them and the things they create and do.
My ninjas speak RDF, so they suited up and hacked out my FOAF file. A helpful resource was Getting Started With FOAF, along with the current FOAF spec. And if your ninjas aren't so skill'd, FOAF-a-Matic will sort of automate the process.
FOAF Explorer turns the RDF into a nice viewable format, (example: mine.) And foafnaut starts heaping FOAF's meat and potatoes onto the plate, graphically mapping relationships between people.
My ninjas haven't yet begun listing folks I know in my FOAF file. I gave them the weekend off so they could have a beer and meet some people.
rough hew them, though we may
My dome is a bit small in this photo, but if you know me in "real life," you've probably noticed the glaring deficiency. A week and a half ago I went into the woods after dark and began hacking away with scissors at my shoulder-length curls and dreaddy knots. Reading about possessions and distractions from samadhi in Geshe Michael Roach's To The Inner Kingdom ultimately forced the moment, but the deed was some time in the making. I've been frustrated with my hair ever since getting the dreadlocks in Morocco a few months ago, and finally gave up trying to pull them out hair by hair.
I've surprised (and escaped initial recognition with) a few people, and have since received both positive and negative reviews. It was really very liberating, and I'm excited with the change and relatively happy with the results. Might keep it short for awhile.
These opposing mirrors badgered me to try and catch them in their neverending game. I've submitted the pic to The Mirror Project: here.
don't mistake us for some corny-ass crew
Yesterday the campers left; sad, but a breath of air after a hard summer's work, and an especially full-on week and a half. The summer flew by. I can't say I've accomplished everything I'd hoped to -- not in the least -- but I've labored and achieved, and enjoyed much of my time here. Last night was the final piss-up of the summer; the majority of my counselor co-workers left today for NYC, their starting point for travels around the states or, like my best buds, to Mexico, or returning back home to Aus./NZ/UK/etc.
I'm hanging around for a week of post-camp to take down the computer lab properly, and to work on a couple small projects. I have liberties with my schedule, allowing me to run with The Running School, which is using our camp for the week.
Here's to trying to keep up with many of the best high-school XC runners in the nation...
stardust, golden, back to the garden
Today many of the other counselors took to The City for their day off, to see a ball game and a bit of Manhattan. I set out walking down the road armed with a camera and a plastic bag with fruit, a book, and my running clothes. My trainers I sling over my shoulder to tread the miles barefoot. Inchworms dangle, dancing, at eye-level from high branches, searching for their landing pads. A deerfly swims laps around my head.
On city runs in Cleveland we joked of measuring our distance in Kentucky Fried Chickens instead of miles. Here and now either POSTED signs or smooshed asphalt frogs would be appropriate.
Dogs bark as I pass a farmhouse. The owner at the door yells, "Come on guys, leave her alone!" I laugh and remind myself to pull out the rest of these dread-knots so I can get a haircut.
Coming up the last large hill I spy white tent tops. Voices and gentle music grow louder. Across the street from the Woodstock grounds and monument: the Bethel Summer Farmers' Market -- my destination.
A chairmaker and some pottery in the first open-walled tent. The next, a few tables bearing local produce, a man promoting his book, and the highlight for me, a guitar/mandolin duo tucked between a woman selling bagels in woven baskets and a man with an assortment of maple syrup products, pancake mix and ground beef.
I sat at a picnic table in the middle of the tent, facing the old tie-dyed, sunglassed musicians, plopping my bag and shoes on the grass next to me. Enjoyed a $1.50 pound of delicious plums and relaxed.
My cue came when the pair began "Goin' Down the Road Feelin' Bad." I walked past the Woodstock grounds until I found a suitable hiding place. Turning my head to direct my ears down the road, I changed quickly, slipping on shorts and shoes. Grabbed my watch, dumped my gear in the weeds, and started running. The main road I came to reminded me of Tuam Road out of Galway, where I did a few long runs in Ireland. The farms here were a bit newer, the cows fatter, and every car a 4-wheel drive, but the trucks blew the same giant gusts of exhaust on me as they thundered by.
Took a short detour down the road to Max Yasgur's old house, and another climbing stone steps up to an overgrown vantage point. I turned back early, though, tired perhaps from the morning's long walk and the anticipation of the return trip. Collected my things and retired to read Steinbeck on the end of a rock wall in the shade for an hour, before returning by alternate route back to camp in time for shower and dinner; necessary after the 16-mile day.
spread thin
Lately I've been striving for balance, and not doing too poorly, but today brought the sensation that I've hit overloaded mode. Switching context too often, and between too many activities -- as a result, I don't perform well in any.
It's tough at the moment to sort out priorities. Counselor-ing, maintaining this computer lab, blogging, programming, running, reading, browsing, socializing, practicing the guitar, etc., are just the top of the list. I've got a full plate of other responsibilities here as well, and though no one's really pressing me hard on all or any of these things, I'm feeling a certain amount of failure. My expectations aren't exceedingly high, that's why I'm frustrated -- I'm not attaining the attainable -- there're just too many of them to take on at once.
So, I haven't got a solution; dilemma strangles my thoughts, and poses as another headache in-and-of itself.
Something has to go?
i've drawn the conclusion it's all an illusion
My boys arrived Wednesday. They're around 12 years old and there are seven of them in my bunk, of which I share counselor duties with an Andy from Minnesota. The computer lab is coming along well, although there's still tons to be done; tonight I'm up making sure about 200 digital photos taken today make it up onto the camp website before the morning.
Yesterday I talked to myself. Well, normal, I guess. Ok, I talked to myself while I was out running. And to tell the truth, I talked to myself about talking to myself, while I was out running.
I reminded myself that if anyone was in the area and heard me, they would think I was crazy, but I think I was crazy to remind myself of anything. How can I remind my self? There was more I intended to write about this, but I must not've reminded myself well enough. But I was in good spirits. The daily run is a much-needed break from the kids, the computers, and the ceiling and air conditioning.
No poacher gunshots today. The only predator I saw was a hawk that sailed over my head, and signs of a larger beast in the treadmarked turtle pancake on the road.
mississippi hot dog
Camp hasn't begun yet; we've got a week left before the kids arrive. I'm teaching computers again like last year; the differences: this year I have a finished building to work in, a new guy to work with (Matt,) and 10 or so more computers.
Matt and I have spent the last few days networking and setting up the lab machines. They're iMacs, and I think this year OS X is ready for the camp environment, so we're installing that and basically Apple's whole i-suite at the moment...
The lab should be quite a slick operation when we've got everything straightened out, but I've gotta make sure I don't spend too much of my time hidden in here.
phase shift
I wasn't home for long before I got in the car and drove to Cleveland. Visited my old university haunts, and met up with many good friends there and in Cincinnati during the extended weekend.
It's time to begin the next phase of my life, and the talking I've done this weekend has frightened me a bit. The job market sounds dismal as ever.
After graduation a year ago I decided go travelling, and take a few steps in a different direction; to get away from computing, business, America, and the typical for awhile and hopefully gain some perspective on these things and on myself.
Now it's time to enter the material mode of passion and make some headway in the real world. In two weeks I return to the Catskill Mountains to my job as counselor and computer teacher at the summer camp where I worked last year. That'll last me the summer, but what comes next? is the $1,000 question at the moment.
day off
Just left the playa desnuda in Almuñecar. My first (skinny) dip in the Mediterranean was short as the water is still quite cold, but all in all quite a tranquilo day. Lots of fun and relaxation. We passed innumerable tourist-oriented restaurants on the walk from the beach back into town and I tried to take in all of the smells and sights I could. I'm still unsure how much I'm going to stick to this mode of eating (100% raw) when I leave this place. I am quite convinced of many of its merits and benefits, but I'm not sure how much I'll be able to give up, and that the life I want to lead (socially, etc,) fits well. Dishes of ice cream, beautifully designed plates of rice and steamed vegetables, cervezas, coffees -- even signs with the word pizza -- made me a little bit forlorn.
I wish I had the time and inclination to talk more about the diet; it's consuming me as much as I, it, right now. I have the same kinds of regrets as after reading The Good Life; that there's a way of life I should be following, but know I won't be able to (ignorance is bliss.) I have to remind myself that I'm only better off for knowing more, and with the knowledge I will only improve my situation...
tranquilo
I've moved on, but not far away, to live with a Spanish couple, Luis and Nube and their 4-year old daughter, Zaira. They are the ex-hippie sort, very chill, very mature, and very kind. Tranquilo is the phrase of the stay so far. They have a small finca that is a little piece of paradise, and do a bit of pottery, that Luis sells at Mercados Medievales around Spain. Nube teaches T'ai Chi/QiGong in the local pueblos. I joined Luis this past weekend for a trip to the market in Alicante, where we dressed in medieval garb to sell earrings, magnets, vases, ocarinas, and more.
They speak no English, so I am learning Spanish quickly, though I've got so far to go...
Clear skies.
caminando, esperando
If you've got no place to go and nothing to do, it's usually a good idea to follow african drumming sounds, if you hear them. I've seen a lot of Madrid in the last few days, and walked a lot. I have a blind man's sense of direction. This is great for travelling. Getting lost 10 or 15 times a day helps me see more of the city. Exercise too.
I've found a decent hostel, and moved there. By day I stroll the streets and some of the attractions, and study Spanish on park-bench breathers. At night, more studying and reading. My lack of command of the language is hindering my ability to make something happen for me here. I'm getting restless about finding a farm to work on. I've gotten no responses yet. I need some sense of security.
bienvenidos
Yes, well I made it. Three planes later I'm in Madrid, and all was going so smoothly until I began seeking accomodation. The two hostels listed in my guide turned up short, as one was full and the other was literally a poor-house -- which I should have no problem fitting into since I'm poor, except that the people lurking-sitting-drinking-burningthings on the grounds of the place looked as if they'd like to make me poorer, and I don't need any of that.
I did a lot of not sleeping on the trans-atlantic flight, and a LOT of walking with my big fat backpack around the city looking for a place, (not to mention I've already explored thoroughly half of Madrid's metro system,) so at around 6pm heretime I gave up and collapse in the bed of a single room rented from a "pension," basically a family's apartment with some extra rooms. 18 Euros. More than I can afford in general, but not bad for a night or two.
I still haven't heard back from the farm I was hoping to work and live on, yet, so it's past time to begin exploring other options. I have a list of about 110 of them around the country, from joining WWOOF, so something will work out eventually.
But I'm anxious, and I am sooo underprepared language-wise... And I have trouble holding the camera still to take pictures without the flash.
nadie lo hace como el toro
Well, finally things are moving a bit. I'm booked to fly outta here on Wednesday, (the 22nd,) to Madrid, for four months, tenatively. Then the adventures begin. I haven't planned enough yet. Lots to do.
the memphis blues again
Dylan was stuck in Mobile; I am in Rochester. I've described my present state to some as stagnant. I've been back at home now since Christmas Eve; the plan was to stick around for a couple weeks to recharge before heading to Spain to work on organic farms for awhile. I just began looking for a flight, though, so my stay here has stretched a bit longer than expected.
The site redesign has taken quite a lot of my time. I'm pleased with some of the results, but overall, nothing too spectacular. I've made the move from tables to CSS, got sendmail working for a comments page, and have that current media sidebar that is just soooo ultra hip for bloggers these days. A few other things to iron out, like images overflowing within div's...
Just when I finished altering my import script that transforms my Explorer Favorites file into a links page, Apple had to come out with a hot new browser called Safari (that has already hooked me) and change the bookmarks format around completely. But it is XML instead of HTML, which is a step in the right direction for the world, even though it sets me back a little.
Please give me a shout if anything looks weird to you.