hypergraphia & manic-depression
Another thing I learned from my illness was the experience -- the direct, physical experience -- of having ideas pour in that fast, and to feel as if they were coming from somewhere else. That's an experience that's worth everything. It's worth all the misery.
Tell me what it felt like.
Oh, my God. I mean, I remember one time, it was early in the morning. I had to pick up some bread. As I was driving, everything looked different. Everything had this extra significance. You know when you're in love with someone, if you see them in a big crowd, they have a black line around them -- they stand out. [That morning,] everything caught my attention -- the arches of phone lines, the arches of windows, the tops of buildings, and especially trees. Every time there was a [traffic] light, I was writing on my arm. I was watching how the things in the near distance were moving differently from things in the far distance. What struck me was that it was incredibly beautiful.
-- Writer's block sign of deeper problems, Interview with Dr. Alice Flaherty, Harvard Neurologist with a compulsive writing problem
comments
Hi, I'm just a random person who came across your journal while searching for websites dealing with hypergraphia. I just heard the author of The Midnight Disease on NPR this morning and the interview peaked my interest immensely. Your description above is truly beautiful, and I sympathize with you because those are precisely the same sort of emotions and experiences that I have had. By the way, I'm only seventeen (not that that has anything to do with anything, but I felt like saying that). So how long have you suffered from hypergraphia and I'm very interested in hearing about your experiences dealing with it. I think I might suffer from very mild hypergraphia--I have experienced the strange voices in my head that the Flaherty discusses and if your description is truly a symptom of hypergraphia, then I must suffer from it too. I'm constantly "writing" in my head. I don't know if you know what I mean by that, but I remember being in seventh grade and discussing with a friend of mine who also had a great passion for writing that I was constantly writing in my head, and she thought that was a little strange. So, I guess I've already written too much, but I don't really know how to end this, so I guess I'll just say good-bye, and ask you again to please contact me. Thank you.
-- [name removed by request] (January 30, 2004 1:51 AM)
Thanks, but those actually aren't my words. If you click on "Writer's block sign of deeper problems," at the bottom of the entry, it will bring you to the article from which the quote came, (the interview with Dr. Flaherty.)
I neither have nor know much about hypergraphia; I was more interested in the appearance of "extra significance" Flaherty described. Unfortunately I wasn't feeling even close to "hypergraphic," so I didn't offer my thoughts on the quote I included.
If you are driven to write, then write! Keep exploring and searching for other people sharing your difficulties, because they are out there. Talk to your friends, talk to your teachers, and even if you don't talk back to the voices in your head, at least listen...
-- Jeff Schuler (January 30, 2004 9:03 AM)
Hello. It wasn't until I discovered the term "hypergraphia" that I began feeling more comfortable with the way my mind works. Ever since I was a small child, teachers and relatives have branded me "hyperactive" or "gifted." I used to sit down and do my homework, read books (writing on the margins about what I had just read), and write letters to relatives. Mom still has with her letters I wrote for many years to Santa and to God, asking for a baby brother. Later in life, folks began noticing that my notes and e-mails were long and detailed. When I was in middle school, I began writing my own stories of fiction, science fiction, horror, etc. During college, I would have a notebook specifically for the purpose of writing down my thoughts. Then I bought a cheap, old word processor, and the quantity of floppy disks I filled was impressive. Like Dr. Flaherty, a feeling of euphoria accompanies, even to this day, all of my hypergraphic episodes. I see the beauty in all things, and, looking at tree leaves, I cannot help but think of the miniscule biochemical reactions taking place so that we all can breathe! It's amazing... and I would not change it for the world. At work, I am branded an "eternal optimist" because I'm generally in a good mood. And, when I'm not in a good mood, I just sit down and write a couple of pages into my notebook, and I feel just fine. Like the previous person, I too don't know how to close this message. That's the bad part of an over-active mind... or is it really that bad?
-- Rene Najera (January 31, 2004 2:34 PM)
I typed hypergraphia in a search engine and came across this page. A few weeks ago I heard a short bit on NPR about how they would be discussing the topic later on. It sounded intriguing, but I don't listen to NPR much so I told myself I'd research it on the internet eventually. I like writing. I'm not even an especially good writer, and I'm not trying to be, but sometimes the thoughts just pour out of me...or else I'll see a blank page and have this intense desire to see words, thoughts, written on it. I'm also manic-depressive. I've been taking medicine for a few years now that "helps" with the symptoms...I guess I shouldn't have been surprised that so many web sites I came across also mention manic-depression. It just strikes me as interesting. Really interesting. I started keeping a diary last year. I'm normally awful at keeping them up, but I really wanted to have one to look at how my moods changed so I made a point of being consistent, writing in it just about everyday. I think my disorder gets stronger every year. Does that make sense? The hypo-manic episodes gradually become more profound. The gaps between hypo-mania and normal states are more noticable, less gradual...Anyway, my diary is interesting because sometimes I'll write a paragraph and sometimes I'll write 12 pages. I have a tendency to ramble, like I'm doing now, and I also have difficulty ending my thoughts. Often I'll just put: "Enough said. I'm tired and I don't want to write anymore." I'm glad there are people who can empathize and sympathize. Enough said.
-- [name removed by request] (February 1, 2004 5:17 AM)
How does this type of Epilepsy fit in with Complex Partial seizures that is in both the frontal and temporal lobes? I do a lot of writing, infact I love to write.
Thanks,
Andie
-- Andie (February 3, 2004 6:59 PM)
I'm just learining about Hypergraphia. As a songwriter, I've wrote lyrics to over 2,000 songs. This process has been over a course of 20 years. Since last July 2003 till now I have written 2,078 poems. And counting. I do it constantly. The ideas keep coming. It's actually an amazing experience to listen to the voices in my head, what they've said & how I'm led. day & night, to write.
-- tonyhaynes (June 12, 2004 11:17 PM)
I saw Alice F. on TV the other night. My girlfriend looked over at me during the interview and said, "You hearing this? It's you!" And it was the truth. It was the first time I'd heard the term Hypergraphia, and how and what it did to her rang so close to home I felt ill. Not bad ill, relieved ill.
It was 3 or so years ago when I noticed music. REALLY noticed it - a bass line...drum solo, a single Vivaldi violin...I was noticing every bit of music. Then it was colours and textures. Then EVERYTHING else. I no longer saw "trees" I saw grand oaks and willows with their bark and branches and leaves and buds...I stopped seeing "forms" and seeing everything else about them. Dirty walls were amazing to me.
I had no outlet for this and soon went into a year phase I call "The Crazies" because I was near enough to it. It was a bad, bad time. Nobody understood what I saw, or heard, nobody knew what all of this was building in my head.
Ideas. Everywhere. A business card on the sidewalk. An article on nanotech and pollution. A stray reference to Zoroastranism. I began to write. And the Crazies went relatively on their way.
I'm never without a notepad. I fill a 300pg Moleskin a month, a pen every month and a half. When I'm not writing these spontaneously appearing ideas and connections in my head, I'm organizing them for later storytelling.
I don't mind it. It's a creat thing for me, because I've somehow learned to corral my ideas into 2 or 3 stories at a time. These stories, however, are so damned big, I doubt I'll see their end soon.
-- SonShade (June 24, 2004 2:21 PM)
I am a writer with few credentials -- I do have a desire to have my stories published, and I have had several published, as well as posted on the net (where I indulge my writing from time to time). I am a retired teacher. Ironically, I taught creative writing -- I still do, on a random workshop basis.
I have to say that my compulsion is random (hardly continuous) and often strikes when I am at my lowest ebb, emotionally.
I have many questions regarding this "condition," and will check this site for more postings. Thank you.
I chuckled a bit when I noticed the volume of writing in other posts. I don't seem to qualify when it comes to quantity at this point. What does that mean? I do know that I'm a compulsive reader, however. Does that relate?
Thanks again and again and again. I'm serious, even though this post may not reflect that attitude. I'm also a compulsive kidder. And I'm not kidding about that, either. I sincerely hope this doesn't sound like jibberish, since I do take the terminology and the responses seriously.
still David
-- (August 15, 2004 3:30 PM)
I think Joyce Carol Oates has hypergraphia big time. As for myself, I'm always writing things down and have been diagnosed with manic-depression. I often wonder if I have frontal or temperal lobe epilepsy. How would I find out? Many of my experiences are not "normal," and it's hard for me to get people to believe me on certain incidents.
-- Kathy C (January 18, 2005 3:56 PM)
It's so interesting to read about other people's experience. I relate to most of them except the one about the world looking so beautiful and not missing all the fine details...
I think I suffer from a mild case of manic depression. I have a a box of journals which I started writing since I was in 1st grade in primary school. We were encouraged/forced to keep a journal and I found it easier to write everyday than other kids. I still keep a journal (24 now. Now and then I type into my computer. I keep a separate diary which I write in with a pen by bedside.
I just spent two hours typing out my endless stream of thoughts last night. This morning I was reading a book in a park and I had this urge to write what I was thinking about then but I didnt have anything to write with. I have a box full of notebooks filled with fictions I started writing but never finished. I used to write to sleep even when I didnt have good ideas. I'd just start a story and keep writing until I fall asleep. I keep a special notebook,too, to pour my thought into when things get too complicated to handle inside my head. Whenever I see a blank piece of paper, I get excited and want to fill it with words. At one point, I'd have 3 or 4 different notebooks I write in, eg, one to carry with me when I go out, one by bedside, one for fiction and so on.
I am a music student studying composition but writing is still my way of releasing myself...
After writing this all down,, I dont think I have hypergraphia... but it's a great word isnt it?
-- NicoleK (January 19, 2005 2:07 AM)
HI! I'm not sure what the relation to hypergraphia is to me, but I know I have been stalling in moments of sadness that almost feel like nothing. I began to read The Midnight Madness when I said, "Well this could be me, only I haven't been able to get as crazed as Hemingway or Flaherty and I would like to feel that. Right?" I have had moments in life where I write half a story or finish one in two sittings driven by anger and a passion of some sort that is hard to describe and if possible to express without being judged by those around me. The thing is that I want to write and keep writing out the idea that I see, since writing is what I aim to be, but as I write along I get discouraged and can't keep going. I suffer from depression and believe that this could be my problem, too many things coming at me at once, some happy, some sad and the sad ones always manage to strand me on that piece of ice in the middle of nowhere. I have not been clinically diagnosed with depression, but I know it when I feel it and deal with it on my own so to speak. It is just incredible how much power the brain has and wonder is mine keeping me from going? I will keep on researching hypergraphia like much of those who suffer from will continue to do.
-- Angelica (January 22, 2005 12:00 PM)
Regarding "hypergraphia:" Last night I caught a program while channel surfing that featured an interview with Alice Flaherty about her hypergraphia. Until then, I'd never heard the term hypergraphia. But as soon as I heard it, I recognized the symptoms, though I'm not "usually" writing on my skin. However, it does happen in a pinch. So far, I've written over 40 titled books, published two, written seven feature length movie scripts, and expressed this inner penchant through hosts of other artistic outlets. When I write from the "writing mode," I'm good at it. When I shift gears to draw or sew, I'm good at it, too. But when I'm not in gear for painting, or writing, or sewing, and try to do it anyway, I'm lousy at it! (My muses dally!) But... I still have to do it. It's sort of like giving birth. When "it" is in there, it has to get out... eventually.
If this is a bad thing, it's only because it is financially challenging to keep up with it. I think nothing of sitting down on a Sunday afternoon to write "a poem" and get up 72 hours later, (in one straight stint) with a 35,000 word novel's first draft! God bless computers!
The good part is that I am able to channel the revelation knowledge that comes from it into synthesized and condensed portions of wisdom that others can gain from. That trait is something I covet.
I never thought of it as any type of neuroses but I certainly recognized it as a compulsion. For me, it's never been a bad thing, except for the expense involved in executing it. I spend a lot on paper and ink, too. I'm just glad my husband doesn't have it, too! Then, we'd really be in trouble!
-- MEScribe (March 3, 2005 8:34 AM)
I didn't have time to read everyone's posts. I have a weird compulsion to write...but not in my own language, it is in some language unique to me. It is a bit like a mix between arabic and chinese. There seem to be forms and characters that appear regularly in my writing. I don't really have any idea if the writing has meaning, I don't have an intention to write anything with meaning while I'm doing it, but I just have to write this "language" down on paper. Does anyone have something similar? Or have you heard of people doing this? I feel like I'm writing in tongues :) Thanks for your input.
-- Abby (March 11, 2005 3:47 PM)
This is something that I can relate to because this is now who I am and have become. There are days when everything is highlighted in a way that I have answers for everything that is going on. The most logic explanations with evidence to prove things. I am young and some people who know me think its weird that I seem filled with an abundance of wisdom and knowledge. By hearing me speak or write you would think I was some great wise person that you read about but its just me.
-- Lisa (March 13, 2005 8:16 PM)
I myself is clinically diagnosed with manic depression..... which is a really bad thing that can happen to anyone.. I hate it! Putting hypergraphia into account, I write a lot a lot a lot a lot as well. Sometimes, there are just too much i want to write i feel like to invent something. I don't know, if i can't spell a word or can't find the right word, i can make a big fuss about it, it's not a good thing, i know. But i really can't help it, my teachers has to put me on special seat to keep me concentrating in class.... When i am not writing I'll just be doodling all the time, and all those ideas with art, and designs can come in thousands and it's difficult to put them all down at once. I've tried to tell my friends about it, they said i will just have train my self control .....aksdfa;kdfjaief afajkdh;ier grrrrrrrr anyway...... when i feel depress, which i do now, i like to rip up all the things i've wrote or just mess around the pages... so that i will never see them again....
-- Christy (March 31, 2005 10:27 AM)
I read about hypergraphia in an article featuring Alice Flaherty in National Geographic and I instantly became exited. It sounds exactly like me. I'm 18 years old but since I was about nine years old I've had the insatiable desire to write. I've written over five books (none of them actually completed) and one movie script. People have been telling me that I was obsessive compulsive since I can remember (which I probably also have). There are post-it notes all over my room and pens everywhere. My planner for school is completely covered in writing going up the sides and covering other writing. I also have boxes of files of papers that I couldn't throw away and I've filled up over seven large journals that I write in daily. I also keep an online journal and write endless notes to people.
I'm not sure whether I have hypergraphia or not because I've never been diagnosed (I try to keep my habit on the DL) but I'm probably pretty close. Ever since I discovered there is a reason and a term for this activity I've been embracing it more. I've been trying less and less to surpress the urge to write. I'm just happy to know that I'm not the only one who has this interesting habit.
-- Vanessa (June 7, 2005 7:30 PM)
I saw the article about Dr. Alice Flaherty and her hypergraphia in National Geographic, I have been researching it ever since. I find this so interesting and illuminating. I think it is wonderful to discover this force that drives so many of us and to learn that there are so many of us affected by us. It sounds like many of us normally have this drive to create and to produce, but just some people become consumed and take it to the extreme. I have always felt that urge to write,paint,draw,sculpt,sew, etc. And the thoughts come so fast that I get frustrated and I can't seem to actually get my materials ready before the creative flow fizzles out and passes. I find that if I can keep my materials ready and at hand, then I can churn out a creative piece when the mood hits me.
-- Cyana Sea (June 13, 2005 12:20 PM)
Hi am not exactly sure what hypergraphia is i've just been reading this site. I used to have strange habits of reading credits of people in shows and movies. I used to jot down bits and pieces of words and in my head i was trying to write but not sure why. The one day a co-worker's child died. I felt horrible and all of a sudden all these words came to me i couldn't stop writing the words were just flowing and i started to think i was crazy because i didn't think i could write. Then another co-worker got married and i started writing again. I've only written a few poems but i'm not sure why i started doing this all of a sudden. Then one day it stopped i started feeling like i was having writers block and i wanted it to come back. I have been diagnosed with schizophrenia but i feel i'm more bipolar than schizophrenic. Just thought i'd jot my thoughts down. If someone could tell me exactly what hypergraphia is i'd be interested in hearing more about it. Thanks any.
Lisa
-- Lisa (June 17, 2005 2:40 PM)
I have just been made aware of the link between temporal lobe epilepsy and hypergraphia. I was astonished to uncover my epilepsy as being linked to my over-whelming urge to write. Often I feel absolutely compelled to write and, even though I am 'supposed' to be doing something else, I am unable to break this sort of spell over me that pulls me to write. I was diagnosed with temporal epilepsy at the age of 9, and have been compulsively writing for at least that long. I have never tried to surpress this urge, for I feel it is not a detriment to my character...just an interesting attribute that I am glad others experience as well!
-- julie (June 29, 2005 1:49 PM)
I am an artist diagnosed with bipolar disorder and I am trying to understand myself better. I have run across accounts of Van Gogh's disorder, he also was a letter writer and a prodigious painter (800 paintings in 10 years) and draftsman (more than 1,100) before he committed suicide. VG's disorder was diagnosed as a form of epileptic attack. Is there more information out there for artists?
-- cheryl (October 28, 2005 12:47 PM)
I am a writer, songwriter, programmer, journaler, and effusive e-mailer, go in and out of seeing "the world as movie", constantly have at least one "hologrammatic observer" in the back of my brain and always have, and probably have mild manic depression - fewer depressive episodes as I get older, though. All of which falls right in with all this stuff, but I can't help but wonder why this is classified as an "aberration" - to me it seems as though this is precisely how the brain is supposed to work - may certainly get exaggerated to the point of dysfunctionality in some cases, but why do we insist on labelling the pattern itself as a "problem"?
-- Jakhel (November 29, 2005 12:25 PM)
hi all
i am graphic designer living in ireland and i am designing a visual book about hypergraphia. i would be interested in documenting some of your personal experinces with the 'condition'. If you could contact me if you are interested that would be great
thanks
ronan
ronandillon@yahoo.co.uk
-- ronandillon (April 3, 2006 9:05 AM)
I'm a documentary producer doing some research into this area of compulsion, I'd be very interested in hearing, in confidence, from anyone with personal experience of hypergraphia. Many thanks.
-- paula lichtarowicz (April 19, 2006 11:04 AM)
I've recently been researching a compulsion I have, and 'hypergraphia' is the closest thing I've found. If anyone has any insight or explanation for my problem, please let me know. I write a lot, but it's not thoughts and ideas and stories....I just write words over and over and over. I get one stuck in my head and fill entire sheets of paper with it. Does anyone know if this is included in hypergraphia, or is it just a compulsion? Thanks,
Jessica
jsweet0024@yahoo.com
-- Jessica (July 31, 2006 7:35 PM)
In response to Jessica, I do the same thing; write a word over and over again. My recent word is "garage". It is just a nice word to write and when I fill a piece of paper, I then turn it upside down and write in the spaces, then I write across it. I always write if there is pen and paper but not compulsively like this unless I am depressed. I am so glad that I am not the only one who does this because I realise how weird it seems to other people.
-- Diana (October 17, 2006 9:01 PM)