blog (December, 2003)
3 for 2003
Tonight there are gatherings in Rochester & Burlington I'd have liked to enjoy. I'm a working man, though, so I'm sticking around Cleveland. Friends there, friends here. I haven't so many, but they spread themselves out, they do. It should be a good night, though.
Here are three quotes to ring in the new year from Dag Hammarskjold's published journal, Markings, (my perennial bathroom book.)
If, without any side glances, we have only God in view, it is He, indeed, who does what we do....Such a man does not seek rest, for he is not troubled by any unrest....He must acquire an inner solitude, no matter where or with whom he may be: he must learn to pierce the veil of things and comprehend God within them.
-- Meister Eckhard
You ask yourself if these notes are not, after all, false to the very Way they are intended to mark.
These notes?--They were signposts you began to set up after you had reached a point where you needed them, a fixed point that was on no account to be lost sight of. And so they have remained. But your life has changed, and now you reckon with possible readers, even, perhaps, hope for them. Still, perhaps it may be of interest to somebody to learn about a path about which the traveler who was committed to it did not wish to speak while he was alive. Perhaps--but only if what you write has an honesty with no trace of vanity or self-regard.
-- Dag Hammarskjold, Markings
The next is beautiful, and I didn't realize he wrote it on December 31st until after I'd typed it out here...
Be grateful as your deeds become less and less associated with your name, as your feet ever more lightly tread the earth.
-- Dag Hammarskjold, Markings
conspicuous consumption
I said yesterday that Miles probably never watched a documentary. I wonder about the lives of persistent creators; whether they are too busy producing to pay much attention to what others are doing. Miles obviously listened to (-- at least while playing with --) other jazz musicians, and I remember reading in his autobiography that he listened to contemporary "classical" music at home: Bartok, Khachaturian, Ravel. But how many CTO's read Slashdot? How many high profile actors go out to the movies, or sports stars watch Monday-night football?
I've cut back writing here quite a bit, somewhat because I don't feel like saying much right now. At the same time, though, my consumption of blogs has risen. This latter fact is partly due to the ease that RSS & newsreader aggregation provides, but I wonder if there is some inverse proportionality in my consuming and producing.
This medium, like jazz, is collaborative, though -- I'd say "A-List Bloggers" consume quite a bit, as well as produce. Nevertheless, I'm going to cut back on my blogreading somewhat, and keep an eye on the effects. I've always prided myself on having no attractions or entanglements in things like TV series and professional sports. Even though I can justify positives of net surfing and newsreading, it's, all the same, a similar vice, and I regret the vicariousness of reading about what other people are doing instead of doing, myself.
press
Sometimes I write blog entries in my head while I run. -- Usually get back home and let go of them. During my run tonight I kept my head from writing, and promised myself I'd post upon returning home.
The jury's out on the direction of this journal. I've been feeling that just as soon as I've figured some things out a bit, I'd be ready to starting talking here. I'm figuring out, though, that I won't be doing any solid figuring out anytime soon.
Now that the hometime holiday face-stuffing festival has mostly ended, save a few leftovers I brought back to CLE, I can get back to laying down my base training for April's Boston Marathon, working, struggling against habits, geeking out with wireless inet in the livingroom, and everything else.
My library goods are nearly due, so I'm watching The Miles Davis Story as I write this. I bet Miles never watched a documentary in his life.
compound interests
From an interview with Larry Wall, the creator of the Perl programming language, (via Dave)
ChangeLog.net: Are you satisfied with your current situation?
Larry Wall: Yes and no. I mean, I sort of have to be satisfied with it because that's what I picked to do. But I'm never satisfied because I've been always interested in too many things and I always want to do everything at once. Everything from developing, readings, to play my violin, to ...whatever.
up down jitters funk confusion
Every now and then the things I lean on lose their meaning
and I find myself careening
When you're up, it's always worth the downtime. When you're down, it's never worth it, and you'd rather an evenness. But the evenness is a lackluster monotone.
I got a C on my last exam. Maybe a C-. Back in high school and college I'd do all my learning just before the test. The thing about the school of hard knocks -- where I find myself currently enrolled, (on scholarship!) -- is that the learning happens just after the test.
without anyone's permission
Lots has happened, but nothing really. I need inspiration, change, action.
Individuals working for the world, an entry @ Ming the Mechanic about Buckminster Fuller, pushes me everso slightly. I won't quote it here because I don't want to. Bucky said it, and Ming quoted him, and I'm sick of turning my head and coughing other people's words into my fist. Let me clear my throat.
I've lapsed in posting here because of this lack of direction. I'm trying to find the right word. It really isn't direction or inspiration, or change or action, although it's all of these things.
I'm a fish flipping about on land.