Reasoning

I woke up this morning with more than a small feeling of regret. I came home from The Huntsman yesterday evening knowing I had once again overeaten -- it's so easy, working in a kitchen -- I've got food at my fingertips all day long. But there was a barbecue on at the hostel, and I proceeded to take care of three hamburgers, probably a dozen little fried fish, some rice-haddock salad, french fries, and god knows what else. I could've thanked myself for stomaching so much food as it probably prevented a hangover from too much cheap red wine, but a hangover is just a punishment for overindulgence; and mine was of food not spirits.

Anyway, I woke up early and walked around Galway, with the excuses of buying my weekly bread, eggs and milk, and visiting the Social Welfare office to collect my new Social Services card, and my thoughts were focused on my overconsumption and what I would do about it. My decisions were in depth, and I tried to think up a good way to express them here, but couldn't seem to get past the idea of how stupid it seems for me to write about how I ate too much, and that I actually spent a morning's walk meditating that.

I just got another email today asking me why I'm here. The Philipinos I work with can't grasp the idea that someone holding a computer science degree is washing dishes. I am not sure myself much of the time what I'm doing. But this morning I feel certain that I'm simplifying my life for awhile, so that I have an opportunity to actually observe myself and my world. I have fewer worldly obligations here and now, (though I'm neglecting some,) and so am able to concentrate my attention on little things like I did this morning; address a tendency of mine with observation, and come to some kind of a conclusion.

My temperament swings up and too far down for my liking, (strikes and gutters, as The Dude would say,) and it's nice to take some time out to try and balance myself a bit. So, there ya go, Renatto at the Huntsman, and Tim at Harvard, and Mom at home... and Me. That's why I'm here... in Ireland... washing dishes.