from A to Stink

I left the office for lunch and walked 7-8 minutes down the road to a Mexican restaurant. It was sunny and hot, and I rolled up my sleeves for the humidity. After the meal I made my way out of the mall and the old lady I held the door open for as she was coming in said, "It's gonna be a thunderboomer out there..."

My first footstep on the cement sent lightning down from the sky, thunder chasing close behind. The lady at the hot dog stand was scrambling to close up her large, portable, metal shop, and the now cloud-darkened streets were nearly empty. The rain came and I began running. Running half a mile is not a particularly difficult or unpleasant task for me, but then I usually don't practice in business casual attire and with a gigantic enchilada in my stomach.

I returned soaked and winded. I made my way up to my temporary 2nd floor office only to find the sun shining in the window and the air free of liquid missiles.

For the next hour, I couldn't help noticing that I smelled. bad. I remembered seeing a black stand-up comic talking about how white people smell when they get wet, but I had never smelled like this before. Yet I faintly recalled the odor from somewhere.

I finally realized my Centrum multivitamin, which I carry wiuth me during the day until I feel like swallowing it, had thought that my wet pocket was really my stomach, and began delivering all of the day's important vitamins and minerals to my pants. It was half dissolved, and smelling up the whole room. My stomach growled.