blog (February, 2002)
needle to the vein
So, there's a stem-cell research program at one of the many local hospitals that will pay a person $150 for a little bit of their bone marrow. This morning, Hardy and I went to get some blood drawn so they could test to see if we qualify.
I've never donated blood before, and I remember when I was a small child the doctor pricked my finger and I puked, but I feel I've outgrown that, and the thought doesn't particularly bother me. I didn't look at the needle going into my arm, but turned to watch as the lady filled the second of 3 finger-long vials with my redstuff. All of a sudden, I broke a sweat and started seeing stars. I was queasy and dizzy. Deasy and quizzy. She gave me a glass of ginger ale, and let me put my head down for a bit. My blood pressure was lower than normal: 100/60. I chilled for a couple minutes, and then finally felt well enough to get up and wait for Hardy to finish dealing with, seemingly, the same symptoms.
I don't know if I'm just a pussy, or what. I do know that if I had to go donate a pint of blood, I would be passed the fork out. Maybe it was my lack of sleep or food, or maybe the lady stuck the needle too far in, or perhaps it was some sort of subconscious psychogenic response...
So, I'm real excited about getting a needle into my hip-bone. Ugh.
I write by the full moon's light
Well, it's this late already, and I've already resigned myself to a painful morning and the obligatory afternoon nap, so I'll do a little catching up here.
Planning a 3-day stay in Killington, VT for some heavy-duty skiing in a few weeks. It's not the typical spring break, and I certainly could use some sunlight right now, but it should be pretty unreal. I just have to get myself into skiing shape so that I am not dead by day two.
Saw Carl Cox spin last night at Cleveland's Metropolis. Good show, but I wasted a little too much energy and attention on the two opening DJ's, and half-way through Cox's set, the slowing wheels on my rollerskates led me to seek respite on a couch. I'm not a huge fan of the hard edge of techno, but it is difficult not to be moved by the sheer force and frenzy of Cox machine-gunning pure sound over beats at musical climax.
Carnegie Mellon is comparable to CWRU (my soon-to-be alma mater,) and is our rival, in certain (particularly athletic) veins. CMU has lately been proving itself to me slightly more interesting a place. Check out the curious Skibo Liberation Army, and this article on a CMU art student that has shackled himself to public display, noncommunication, and a lobster suit for the next 3 months.
And as I return to homework, a good reminder in Dave's away message from tonight:
Behold the fowls of the air: for they sow not, neither do they reap, nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much better than they?
-- Matthew 6:26
internal mind fertile, foot over hurdle
aghh! this junk is off the hook: Aceyalone - The Guidelines (lyrics)
Turns out all those .mil hits were from the same sno-dog down in gitmo. Serves me right for having them big ideas.
the.man
I noticed that last night I had a number of hits to this site from the 'bu-wcs2-kelly.nipr.mil' domain, so I ventured curiously to Google to see if I could discover where (geographically) the accesses originated. What I found was a little more interesting...
Apparently, others have seen much of the same thing in their webserver logs. It appears this is a secure proxy host for the Department of Defense's computer networks. Check out this cryptic email response upon one person's query. What makes me more curious is that these appeared immediately after my last blog: discussion on camp x-ray, whereas others report hits to sites dealing with Dmitry Sklyarov (...who is Dmitry Sklyarov?.)
Here's the (trimmed) excerpt from my log. Notice the second archive request is week of 9/11.
--REMOVED--
Alright, enough conspiracy theory nonsense.
news from camp x-ray
...apparently about 4% of the caged birds are singing foully at their cagers:
I just got a late-night phone call from sno-dog down in Guantanamo Bay, Cuba, where he's been playing jail guard for the Taliban/Al Qaeda/etc. Assurance upon assurance I received from him that he's been acting sufficiently ethically, and that, regarding the current buzz in the US media on the prisoner's treatment, "they are not getting any undeserved punishment." Perhaps that quote, taken out of context, misrepresents what he was saying, but he was purposely vague, and he left much to my own interpretation or imagination. I do the same for you.
I don't have the answers, just like everyone else. I cringe when I think of what's most likely going on in Afghanistan, but it's easier to excuse what's most likely going on in Cuba. It's my understanding that the prisoners there are signed, sealed, delivered evildoers, so it's excusable on a "you got what was coming to you" level. It gets hazy, however, in consideration of foot soldiers in another army, (and then certainly less hazy, tho on the other end of the spectrum in consideration of civilians.) I certainly can't see international scale right-from-wrong at my low rung of the information food chain - neither can you. But our country's leaders say "go and fight for us." Aren't we the same villainous despots to the opposing side as they are to us?
The product-of-one's-environment issue is a tricky one. Just less tricky when you're the guy that says, "yes, you should go fly a plane into a building and kill thousands of people."
I'm just glad I'm not there. Glad that I don't have to make those decisions, or be engaged in a moral struggle where the opposite side is fought with morals too. Glad that I don't have to harden myself, blind myself to rid myself of that struggle.
sweet dreams
stuck in the slow heats
...or the [no-talent] "ass clown," (see space,) heats, as Andre calls them.
I'm referring to my races at the Oberlin College Indoor Track Invitational that I just returned from, tonight. I ran the 3000m and the 1000m, and my performance of late surely warrants my placement in said ass-clown heats. I ran a blistering, er, blistered 3k in 9:38 - an improvement over last week, but pretty sad when I notice that I ran 9:22 at the same meet 3 years ago. Frustrating. I'm fo'definiley enjoying training and racing, I just wish I weren't so damn slow. Something has to change, I'm just not sure what, yet.
Long distance running is particularly good training in perseverance.
-- Chairman Mao
(this and other good running quotes at The Quotable Runner)
maturity is...
...taking a thorn in your side and using it to your advantage?